Breaking Records for the RT by Danihel Forestal

I doff my hat to Ieremiac’h Ventrutx, whose forays into the Regipats Talossan help to spread the creamy taste of our delicious Kingdom among the Cestours. A recent trip of his led to the placement of RT stickers on Cestour automobiles and business windows. S:reu Ventrutx’s dedication to promoting the Kingdom might be considered the inspiration for this article, and perhaps upcoming ones, in which I will explore ways we can all rise to the challenge of spreading Talossanity, and help give the Kingdom a greater sense of “real-ness” in the world at large. The Universal Records Database ( was founded in 2004 with the ambitious mission of becoming the central repository of all exceptional human achievements. Their concept is simple — they’ll document any record, provided it is (1) quantifiable, (2) breakable, and (3) legal (and for submittal to the site, it must be rated PG). Some recent records posted to the URDB include:

* Most Consecutive “Behind The Back” Golf Ball Bounces Using A Golf Club

* Largest Group Of Nobel Laureates To Remove A Sword From Someone’s Throat

* Largest Group Of People Pretending To Be Sea Otters

* Most Times Saying “I’ll Have What She’s Having” In 30 Seconds

The entire list of records set so far is at As you will see, nearly ANYTHING goes, and the records range from mundane to flat-out bizarre. The inherent quirkiness of the URDB makes it nearly custom-tailored for Talossan input! And so, I hereby announce a challenge my fellow Talossans: set a URDB world record in the name of our Glorious Kingdom! It’s an easy and fun way to garner some recognition for the Kingdom, and to show that we’re a fun-loving group of weirdos. As you consider a record, keep in mind the submittal requirements (, as well as how to incorporate Talossa into the record. You can either devise your own novel record, or you can attempt to beat an existing record. When you submit your record, let the rest of us know — post a comment here, and share your success on Witt. If you are geographically proximal enough to meet up with another Talossan and set a record together, even better! Below are some ideas to spark your creativity. Join the conversation by entering comments below — add your own suggestions and tell us what record(s) you’re considering attempting.


* Highest free-standing couscous tower.

* Most squirrels treed at once on Talossan soil.

* Most pillbugs fit into one’s hand at once.

* Most fan letters mentioning Talossa written to Gloria Estefan.

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